Lifestyle

Five of the few books I read that influenced my life in 2022.

Photo by Kimberly Farmer on Unsplash

Since I started this journey over a decade now, the growth mindset has been my goal – improving my reading habit daily. And it has been an amazing journey so far. In this article, I did like to share these books that influence my thinking over the past twelve months.

  1. Choose Yourself by James Altucher – In Choose yourself he talks more about growth and self-development. As people, we learned with experience.

The writer states that in other to improve or grow we MUST ask these very important questions.

Always ask yourself, what can I improve? Who else can I talk to? Where else can I look? When self-believing thoughts come in.

There is a need to tame the wild horse or it will tame you. The way you tame it is through focused use.

Set a goal, and say I’m going to come up with ten ways I can have more time for myself.

Or I’m going to come up with ten ways to improve my job. Or ten business ideas. Writing down at least ten ideas. This brain-boosting method is empowering – with this idea, I have been able to write my ideas down daily since then.

Once you tried this make sure the list you plan to do is a hard one, have a -Hard copy that you can look at. Making the mind SWEAT he says so that it gets tired. So tired that it’s done for the day. It can’t control you today. TIRE IT OUT! Then do it again. Choose yourself today.

2.The subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Mason – Boundaries, Relationships, Saying NO, Rejection and a counterintuitive approach to living a good life.

In this very interesting book, the writer argues strongly that the desire to avoid rejection at all costs, to avoid confrontation and conflict, and the desire to attempt to accept everything equally and to make everything coheres and harmonizes, is a deep and subtle form of entitlement.

I can’t tell you how much this book transformed those decisions in both my personal life and relationship. To the extent, I had to – grab the audio of his official site.

Entitled people because they feel as though they deserve to feel great all the time, avoid rejecting anything because doing so might make them or someone else feel bad. Which many of us find ourselves doing.

And because they refuse to reject anything, they live a valueless, pleasure-driven, and self-absorbed life.

We as people should set boundaries that will set us apart for a better lifestyle.

Relationships he says have both healthy forms of love and unhealthy forms of love.

Unhealthy love is based on two people trying to escape their problems through their emotions for each other—in other words, they’re using each other as an escape.

Mark states healthy love is based on two people acknowledging and addressing their problems with each other.

 And the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship comes down to two things.

1) How well each person in the relationship accepts responsibility, and

2) the willingness of each person to both reject and be rejected by their partner.

Besides when I completed this book I had to follow the writer, visit his blog and download more of his mp3 files that teach more about the topic above.

3. Be so good they can’t ignore You by – Cal Newport argues that in the face of conventional wisdom suggests that it should be a person’s talent and skill – and not necessarily their passion – that determines their career path.

This book is worth a read. It’s a book that has laterally shafted my life and thoughts in bettering my skill set.

Cal talked about being focus-oriented and using tactics while staying focused “Focus instead on becoming better he says”.

And talks about the hour-tracking strategy, I am still learning to help shift my attention to the quality of what I produce and the things I spent time doing.

Obsessive focus on the quality of what you produce is the rule in professional work.

“It trumps your appearance, your equipment, your personality, and your connections,” If you’re not focusing on becoming so good they can’t ignore you, you’re going to be left behind.

He also argues that regardless of how you feel about your job, adopting the craftsman mindset will be the foundation on which you’ll build a compelling career.

And said this is why he rejects the “argument from pre-existing passion,” because it gets things backwards.

His insight on getting better is amazing. Focusing instead on doing something people care about— is where your energy should be if you want to succeed.

If our goal is to love what you do, the first step is to acquire career capital.

Then invest this capital in the traits that define great work. Control is one of the most important targets you can choose for this investment. A good read.

4. Atomic Habit by James Clear:

 An expert on habit formation, reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the tiny behaviours that lead to remarkable results.

The writer states learning one new idea won’t make you a genius, but a commitment to lifelong learning can be transformative.

Furthermore, each book you read not only teaches you something new but also opens up different ways of thinking about old ideas.

I must confess, understanding how to work habits, was something I needed to understand and simply knowing these tips improve my habits.

One place that resonates with me is the area the writer says “People make a few small changes, but fail to see a tangible result and decide to stop.”

For example; You think, “I’ve been running every day for a month, so why can’t I see any change in my body?” Once this kind of thinking takes over, it’s easy to let good habits fall by the wayside. This some of us are guilty of only because we don’t understand habit – formation.

But to make a meaningful difference, habits need to persist long enough to break through this plateau—what he calls the Plateau of Latent Potential.

If you find yourself struggling to build a good habit or break a bad one, it is not because you have lost your ability to improve. It is often because you have not yet crossed the Plateau of Latent Potential.

Focus on your system instead. Goals are not completely useless? Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.

The writer says “a systems-first mentality provides the antidote.” When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to permit yourself to be happy.

You can be satisfied any time your system is running. And a system can be successful in many different forms, not just the one you first envision.

Ultimately, it is your commitment to the process that will determine your progress. Must read, many insights and wisdom to gain.

5. Love yourself as your life depends on it by Kamal Ravikant

Many times we see quotes about loving oneself here and there. People speaking about it – Same thing the writer said “your mom told you, self-help books repeat enough times to be cliché.” But there is a difference in loving oneself.

It’s not lip service. Do we believe this or only like to say it to ourselves? Working out is a practice. Loving yourself, most important of all, is a practice. But how many of us practice this to speak of?

But the writer clearly states that he repeated this over and over continuously as he was at the point of giving up on life “I Love myself” until it began an anchor which help him to get better, as he was on bed rest and was very ill.

Why Love? Why not? The writer says “love” can slip past the conscious and into the subconscious, where the magic happens.

Nothing to worry about, the job is purely to love yourself. Truly and deeply. Feel it.
Again and again. Make it your single-minded focus. The mind and body will respond automatically.
They don’t have a choice.

There is a practice to this the writer states which he broke down that worked. And how one can replicate it. Comes down to three things:

1. Mental loop

2. A meditation

3. One question

All three teach self-love. The beauty of this practice and the results is far greater than you could imagine. Find this book and dive into finding better ways to love yourself this new year.

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